A friend of mine, hit it right on the head in his blog:
<http://www.rockcanyon.org/blogs/tom/>
So, I 'cut and pasted' it in mine. Please feel free to peruse his blog any time you want. He's got a lot of good to say and learn from.
Training
Last night was the host and facilitator training held by the Grandjacksons. We do this each year to kickoff the start of connection groups. This training isn't usually a bunch of new stuff for people, but rather a review of why we are doing this and some thoughts on how to run a meeting. The most important thing I was reminded of was the same thing we work so hard to teach on a Sunday morning. This idea that church is not an oasis...church is not an island or a separate entity. Rather the church, the body of Christ, is in this community. What we teach on a Sunday...what we talk about in our connection groups...is all about recognizing God in our daily interaction with people rather than bringing God into our world and interaction with it. All too often, there is a church facade we put on to act holy and proper while we attend church, but here at RCC we work very hard to teach and show the fact that God is everywhere. We just need to recognize that fact and possibly sometimes pointing it out to others. The Real Estate agent doesn't leave God at home and can go out lying to people about what they are selling...rather the agent recognizes God is with them always and hold themselves to a higher level. Ditch digger? Nerd? Candy maker? God is with each and every one of us...we just need to recognize that. Sometimes, during the day, as we go about it, we need to stop for the three seconds or so it takes to read Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Are you aware that Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan?
1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.
2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.
3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan.
4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
5. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.
6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, (or at the top of his ankles) you might live in Michigan.
7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.
8. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.
9. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.
Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when . . .
1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. D riving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You drink pop an d bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.
25. You know what a Yooper is.
26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.
28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
29. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends.
Have a Nice Day..... and a Better tomorrow.....
1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.
2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.
3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan.
4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
5. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.
6. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, (or at the top of his ankles) you might live in Michigan.
7. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.
8. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.
9. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.
Part 2 - You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when . . .
1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. D riving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You drink pop an d bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.
25. You know what a Yooper is.
26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.
28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
29. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends.
Have a Nice Day..... and a Better tomorrow.....
Sunday, September 02, 2007
A Long Summer.....
Well, where do I begin? It's been a busy summer for all of us. Alec played JV baseball for his high school. Katie played softball and Jennifer played T-ball for the city leagues. Dave went to New York with Alec's high school band. In May, Dave and I made a quick trip down to Mesa to see his Dad and Cathy. Dave's Dad was diagnosed a couple of years ago with McGee-Drager syndrome and he is not doing well at all. We had a good trip and accomplished everything we intended to accomplish, with the exception of being able to stay longer.
In June, I started working at Camp Cavell as the Summer Camp Nurse or, as its official title is: Health Officer. Over all I had a really good time. The Director is wonderful and really good with kids. She has a way of getting in touch with even the toughest of kid-personalities. I lived at the camp, beginning on the 15th of June until the 18th of August. The good thing was that the camp is only 10 miles from home and Dave and the kids could come visit me whenever they wanted to. I ate, slept, and existed there all summer long. We got a break of 24 hours, maybe, from noon on Saturday to noon on Sundays. The camp hired 4 international counselors, which created a wonderful opportunity for me. One of the counselors was from Spain. Her name is Carmen and she is wonderful! We became very good friends and spent most of our time off together doing things near and far. Some of the things we did included going to the Barn Theater, a Detroit Tigers' game, and to Frankenmuth. About 2 weeks ago, we, as a family, took Carmen to the airport on her way home to Barcelona, Spain, via Chicago and New York. As for the 9 weeks at Camp Cavell, Carmen and I really enjoyed the relationships we formed with the campers. Most of them came up from the Detroit area and a culture that is very different from what we are used to. We learned a lot of patience, acceptance, and understanding throughout our summer. (I still can't stand listening to rap music, though! I just don't get it.)
As for my weight loss, my last weigh-in showed a total weight loss of 70 pounds! My kids say that they can tell I'm losing weight by looking at my arms. I affectionately call them my "bat wings." I'm wearing clothes that I never dreamed of ever wearing again, and even they are too big. I'm finding that I can sneak through openings that before my surgery, I'd never even consider trying. One of the kids that is in the 4-H program with my kids made a comment about my arrival at the county fair: "Big Momma is in the house" and it offended me. In the past, it would have rolled off my back, but I guess now that I am seeing a light at the end of the "becoming thin tunnel," the comments about being fat are penetrating deeper. Definitely something I need to work on.
Last week, Dave and the kids and I went up to Cross Village. My Uncle George and Aunt Laurelynn have a home on Lake Michigan and own a piece of property across the road of about 40 acres. Way set back on this property is a double-wide mobile home. They generously allowed us to spend a few days up there in heaven. The wild setting of this place is wonderful, rain or shine. Talk about the "little house in the woods!" We spent a couple of days on the beach and also made trips up to Whitefish Point and the Sault Ste. Marie "Soo Locks."
Now, with Labor Day being tomorrow, it's time to focus on the first day of school being the day after. And I need to get out and secure gainful employment so we can survive the winter. By this I mean, having enough financially to get 2 horses and a goat through the winter, as well as heat our house with a wood stove, in an effort to conserve propane. Another challenge we are facing right now is well problems. I'm hoping a praying that the well is NOT running dry and it is just a pump problem. Ya Hoo!
Well, where do I begin? It's been a busy summer for all of us. Alec played JV baseball for his high school. Katie played softball and Jennifer played T-ball for the city leagues. Dave went to New York with Alec's high school band. In May, Dave and I made a quick trip down to Mesa to see his Dad and Cathy. Dave's Dad was diagnosed a couple of years ago with McGee-Drager syndrome and he is not doing well at all. We had a good trip and accomplished everything we intended to accomplish, with the exception of being able to stay longer.
In June, I started working at Camp Cavell as the Summer Camp Nurse or, as its official title is: Health Officer. Over all I had a really good time. The Director is wonderful and really good with kids. She has a way of getting in touch with even the toughest of kid-personalities. I lived at the camp, beginning on the 15th of June until the 18th of August. The good thing was that the camp is only 10 miles from home and Dave and the kids could come visit me whenever they wanted to. I ate, slept, and existed there all summer long. We got a break of 24 hours, maybe, from noon on Saturday to noon on Sundays. The camp hired 4 international counselors, which created a wonderful opportunity for me. One of the counselors was from Spain. Her name is Carmen and she is wonderful! We became very good friends and spent most of our time off together doing things near and far. Some of the things we did included going to the Barn Theater, a Detroit Tigers' game, and to Frankenmuth. About 2 weeks ago, we, as a family, took Carmen to the airport on her way home to Barcelona, Spain, via Chicago and New York. As for the 9 weeks at Camp Cavell, Carmen and I really enjoyed the relationships we formed with the campers. Most of them came up from the Detroit area and a culture that is very different from what we are used to. We learned a lot of patience, acceptance, and understanding throughout our summer. (I still can't stand listening to rap music, though! I just don't get it.)
As for my weight loss, my last weigh-in showed a total weight loss of 70 pounds! My kids say that they can tell I'm losing weight by looking at my arms. I affectionately call them my "bat wings." I'm wearing clothes that I never dreamed of ever wearing again, and even they are too big. I'm finding that I can sneak through openings that before my surgery, I'd never even consider trying. One of the kids that is in the 4-H program with my kids made a comment about my arrival at the county fair: "Big Momma is in the house" and it offended me. In the past, it would have rolled off my back, but I guess now that I am seeing a light at the end of the "becoming thin tunnel," the comments about being fat are penetrating deeper. Definitely something I need to work on.
Last week, Dave and the kids and I went up to Cross Village. My Uncle George and Aunt Laurelynn have a home on Lake Michigan and own a piece of property across the road of about 40 acres. Way set back on this property is a double-wide mobile home. They generously allowed us to spend a few days up there in heaven. The wild setting of this place is wonderful, rain or shine. Talk about the "little house in the woods!" We spent a couple of days on the beach and also made trips up to Whitefish Point and the Sault Ste. Marie "Soo Locks."
Now, with Labor Day being tomorrow, it's time to focus on the first day of school being the day after. And I need to get out and secure gainful employment so we can survive the winter. By this I mean, having enough financially to get 2 horses and a goat through the winter, as well as heat our house with a wood stove, in an effort to conserve propane. Another challenge we are facing right now is well problems. I'm hoping a praying that the well is NOT running dry and it is just a pump problem. Ya Hoo!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Update Re: Surgery Details
On 11 April 2007, we arrived at the Barix Clinic at oh-dark-thirty to check in for me to have a laproscopic Roux-en-Y procedure. More commonly known as gastric bypass surgery. Dr. David Kam, arrived to inform me that he was 90% certain that he would not be able to perform the procedure laproscopically, due to a previous umbilical hernia repair I'd had, using mesh. What this meant, was that my 1-2 week recovery was being extended to 6-8 weeks. Shortly thereafter, my mom arrived, only to witness me start to come uncorked with the drastic change in plans. I asked Dave to call my friend in Utah, Richard Green. Richard and I met working for the Utah County Sheriff's Office. Richard is the Chaplain in the jail. As I knew he would be very likely to answer, he was my first choice. True to my expectations, Richard answered his phone and was soon speaking in prayer, offering me just what I needed.
I don't remember much from that point on. The next thing I remembered was a really soft voice telling me the surgery was all over and I was doing fine. I immediately asked "Open or closed?" I heard "open" as the response and everyone within earshot immediately started to sympathize with me. The really neat thing was that I was already in my hospital bed and didn't need to be transferred once getting to my room. (These guys REALLY think of everything!) I had a PCAU (Patient controlled anesthetic unit) pump giving me a constant dose of pain medication and I was allowed to push the button every 10 minutes for an extra dose, if I felt the need. And believe me, I NEEDED IT! There were sometimes that I felt like 10 minutes would never end. I was up and walking within 5 hours after surgery and tortured every two hours by the Respiratory Therapists to breath in one machine and out through another. Then came the really hard part...... COUGHING. Can you say Y'OUCH!!!!!!! About 24 hours after the surgery, I was escorted to x-ray for a swallow follow through x-ray. The tech pushed me up against the film holder thingy, because apparently I wasn't doing it right, and if I'd had the strength, I'd have poked him in the nose! I had just been taken off my pain pump and was in a lot of pain and apparently, he was in a hurry. Then my 'Angel of Mercy' showed up. Her name is Dr. Elaina Vayntrub. She is the Internist that was assigned to take care of my medical conditions while I was in the hospital. She asked if I wanted to see the results. She lead me to the wall where the x-rays were hanging and lit up. She showed me how the stuff I drank was trickling through my new stomach and into my small intestine. WOW! My stomach is now the size of a golf ball! On the x-ray, it looks like a golf ball with a little spout on one side.
At the 48 hour mark, my "male" (Yes, male!) nurse asked me if I had started to pass gas or stool yet. HELLO????? I was scoured clean before the surgery and I'd been eating nothing but a clear liquid diet for all of 24 hours!!!!!!! You can probably guess what happened next. Yup! The ol' silver bullet! Roll over? Yeah, RIGHT! Somehow, 'HE' managed to get 'it' where 'it' belonged. Then, an hour later, 'HE' came back and asked if 'it' worked. HELLO? It's only been an hour!!!!!!! So back he came with ANOTHER! Again, 'HE' managed to get it into position, AGAIN! 'HE' went off shift by the time it happened! Talk about 'dumping' responsibility on the next shift!
After 3 days, I got to take my first shower. Did it ever feel wonderful! My incision is 13" long! Dave was there to help me and got almost as wet as I did in the process.
Dr. Kam came in on the third day and told me I was doing well enough to go home whenever I felt like it. Based on the fact that I had not been able to sleep any longer than an hour in a stretch, I was happy to call Dave right then for a ride home. The ride home was long, but good to make. I went right to bed as soon as I got home and slept until Dave woke me to go for a walk and get some protein in me.
On 11 April 2007, we arrived at the Barix Clinic at oh-dark-thirty to check in for me to have a laproscopic Roux-en-Y procedure. More commonly known as gastric bypass surgery. Dr. David Kam, arrived to inform me that he was 90% certain that he would not be able to perform the procedure laproscopically, due to a previous umbilical hernia repair I'd had, using mesh. What this meant, was that my 1-2 week recovery was being extended to 6-8 weeks. Shortly thereafter, my mom arrived, only to witness me start to come uncorked with the drastic change in plans. I asked Dave to call my friend in Utah, Richard Green. Richard and I met working for the Utah County Sheriff's Office. Richard is the Chaplain in the jail. As I knew he would be very likely to answer, he was my first choice. True to my expectations, Richard answered his phone and was soon speaking in prayer, offering me just what I needed.
I don't remember much from that point on. The next thing I remembered was a really soft voice telling me the surgery was all over and I was doing fine. I immediately asked "Open or closed?" I heard "open" as the response and everyone within earshot immediately started to sympathize with me. The really neat thing was that I was already in my hospital bed and didn't need to be transferred once getting to my room. (These guys REALLY think of everything!) I had a PCAU (Patient controlled anesthetic unit) pump giving me a constant dose of pain medication and I was allowed to push the button every 10 minutes for an extra dose, if I felt the need. And believe me, I NEEDED IT! There were sometimes that I felt like 10 minutes would never end. I was up and walking within 5 hours after surgery and tortured every two hours by the Respiratory Therapists to breath in one machine and out through another. Then came the really hard part...... COUGHING. Can you say Y'OUCH!!!!!!! About 24 hours after the surgery, I was escorted to x-ray for a swallow follow through x-ray. The tech pushed me up against the film holder thingy, because apparently I wasn't doing it right, and if I'd had the strength, I'd have poked him in the nose! I had just been taken off my pain pump and was in a lot of pain and apparently, he was in a hurry. Then my 'Angel of Mercy' showed up. Her name is Dr. Elaina Vayntrub. She is the Internist that was assigned to take care of my medical conditions while I was in the hospital. She asked if I wanted to see the results. She lead me to the wall where the x-rays were hanging and lit up. She showed me how the stuff I drank was trickling through my new stomach and into my small intestine. WOW! My stomach is now the size of a golf ball! On the x-ray, it looks like a golf ball with a little spout on one side.
At the 48 hour mark, my "male" (Yes, male!) nurse asked me if I had started to pass gas or stool yet. HELLO????? I was scoured clean before the surgery and I'd been eating nothing but a clear liquid diet for all of 24 hours!!!!!!! You can probably guess what happened next. Yup! The ol' silver bullet! Roll over? Yeah, RIGHT! Somehow, 'HE' managed to get 'it' where 'it' belonged. Then, an hour later, 'HE' came back and asked if 'it' worked. HELLO? It's only been an hour!!!!!!! So back he came with ANOTHER! Again, 'HE' managed to get it into position, AGAIN! 'HE' went off shift by the time it happened! Talk about 'dumping' responsibility on the next shift!
After 3 days, I got to take my first shower. Did it ever feel wonderful! My incision is 13" long! Dave was there to help me and got almost as wet as I did in the process.
Dr. Kam came in on the third day and told me I was doing well enough to go home whenever I felt like it. Based on the fact that I had not been able to sleep any longer than an hour in a stretch, I was happy to call Dave right then for a ride home. The ride home was long, but good to make. I went right to bed as soon as I got home and slept until Dave woke me to go for a walk and get some protein in me.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
WOW! What a week!
Earlier this week, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die! I began a new job in the first week of December, working for the local community mental health agency, something that is near and dear to my heart. On Tuesday morning, I was told I needed to be in the Personnel Director's office at 1600 hours. When I asked why, I was told that I just needed to be there. I 'supposed' all day, as I worked very hard to get caught up on the pile of paperwork that had built up over the last 10 days. At 1555 hours, I cleaned up the office and drove over the building that the Personnel Director worked in. As I walked in, the two ladies present told me the director was in a meeting and the asked me how I liked my new job. I gave them my honest opinion that I loved it, because the staff seemed to 'prevent fires,' rather than 'run around putting them out,' which equates to being proactive, rather than reactive. I was then lead to a conference room and told to have a seat. As the players began to arrive, my immediate supervisor, the department receptionist, the Personnel Director, and finally the Director of Mental Health Services for the County, my heart began to sink to the floor. I braced myself for what I knew was not going to be good. The Mental Health Director spoke first. He told me that we were there to discuss my termination, to which, I just grit my teeth. He told me that I was a wonderful individual, who had great nursing skills, was loved by the clients I served, and was liked by my co-workers. My case was different than 'other terminations,' as I had made it clear that I loved what I was doing and didn't see the termination coming. I was everything they were looking for in the person who was to fill the position, but I was being terminated. HUH? How can you honestly tell someone that, and then fire them in the next breath? It's beyond me! When he was finished, I turned to my immediate supervisor who reiterated the Director's sentiments, but added that I 'just' wasn't 'a good fit.' HUH? As she struggled for words, I had to be my helpful self, and give her what she was looking for: 'A square peg, trying to fit in a round hole.' 'YES! A square peg, trying to fit into a round hole! Of course!' Me and my big mouth! I maintained my cool until everyone had a chance to speak their piece. They said I spent too much time with the clients I served. Now, keep in mind, these are clients diagnosed with chronic mental illness. If the powers that be had their way, I would spend 15 minutes with each one and carry a caseload of 40 rather than spend the necessary time and carry a caseload of 25. I turned to my supervisor and asked: 'Do you want a robot that goes into client's homes and goes through the motions or a real person who cares about the people they serve?' To which, she responded: 'Both.' I told her I really didn't believe you could have both, but I thought I had been doing the best anyone could do to make it happen the way she wanted it to happen. Our conversation went on for a few more minute, after which, I asked my final question: 'Is there anything I could do or say to, perhaps, make you reconsider?' I was told I had already been given a 'second chance,' and failed. In my opinion, I didn't fail. I was set up for failure and rose to conquer the challenge. I've done a lot of thinking over the past few days. I've considered accepting the hand I was dealt, and I've considered asking for a reshuffle. At first, I was embarrassed and ashamed of having been fired, as this has never happened to me before. One of the special requests I made, out of genuine concern for the people I had the privilege of caring for, was that they be told the truth regarding what had happened to me, even if it made me out to be incapable. I have been on the other end of situations like this. I would much rather know the truth than some cockamamie story. I was assured the clients would be told, with much care, what happened to me, and that I didn't 'abandon' them. Well, guess what? I ran into the daughter of one of the more precious individuals I had the opportunity to serve and learned that she was told only that 'I no longer worked for the agency.' Her daughter told me that her Mom was furious that I was no longer going to be her case manager. I can only imagine what the other clients have been told and how they are feeling about it! So, based on this, I have decided to ask for a reshuffle. On Monday, I am going to whatever it takes to get an appointment with the Director of Mental Health and present my defense. I've never wanted to be seen as 'someone who makes waves,' but this time, I think it's the right time and for the right reasons. More than ever, I believe the real reason for my dismissal was more of a personality conflict, rather than an actual issue with my job performance.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, as I go forward on this issue. Pray that I will say the right things in the right way, so that I might, once again, help others in a way I really believe I can.
Earlier this week, I wanted to crawl under a rock and die! I began a new job in the first week of December, working for the local community mental health agency, something that is near and dear to my heart. On Tuesday morning, I was told I needed to be in the Personnel Director's office at 1600 hours. When I asked why, I was told that I just needed to be there. I 'supposed' all day, as I worked very hard to get caught up on the pile of paperwork that had built up over the last 10 days. At 1555 hours, I cleaned up the office and drove over the building that the Personnel Director worked in. As I walked in, the two ladies present told me the director was in a meeting and the asked me how I liked my new job. I gave them my honest opinion that I loved it, because the staff seemed to 'prevent fires,' rather than 'run around putting them out,' which equates to being proactive, rather than reactive. I was then lead to a conference room and told to have a seat. As the players began to arrive, my immediate supervisor, the department receptionist, the Personnel Director, and finally the Director of Mental Health Services for the County, my heart began to sink to the floor. I braced myself for what I knew was not going to be good. The Mental Health Director spoke first. He told me that we were there to discuss my termination, to which, I just grit my teeth. He told me that I was a wonderful individual, who had great nursing skills, was loved by the clients I served, and was liked by my co-workers. My case was different than 'other terminations,' as I had made it clear that I loved what I was doing and didn't see the termination coming. I was everything they were looking for in the person who was to fill the position, but I was being terminated. HUH? How can you honestly tell someone that, and then fire them in the next breath? It's beyond me! When he was finished, I turned to my immediate supervisor who reiterated the Director's sentiments, but added that I 'just' wasn't 'a good fit.' HUH? As she struggled for words, I had to be my helpful self, and give her what she was looking for: 'A square peg, trying to fit in a round hole.' 'YES! A square peg, trying to fit into a round hole! Of course!' Me and my big mouth! I maintained my cool until everyone had a chance to speak their piece. They said I spent too much time with the clients I served. Now, keep in mind, these are clients diagnosed with chronic mental illness. If the powers that be had their way, I would spend 15 minutes with each one and carry a caseload of 40 rather than spend the necessary time and carry a caseload of 25. I turned to my supervisor and asked: 'Do you want a robot that goes into client's homes and goes through the motions or a real person who cares about the people they serve?' To which, she responded: 'Both.' I told her I really didn't believe you could have both, but I thought I had been doing the best anyone could do to make it happen the way she wanted it to happen. Our conversation went on for a few more minute, after which, I asked my final question: 'Is there anything I could do or say to, perhaps, make you reconsider?' I was told I had already been given a 'second chance,' and failed. In my opinion, I didn't fail. I was set up for failure and rose to conquer the challenge. I've done a lot of thinking over the past few days. I've considered accepting the hand I was dealt, and I've considered asking for a reshuffle. At first, I was embarrassed and ashamed of having been fired, as this has never happened to me before. One of the special requests I made, out of genuine concern for the people I had the privilege of caring for, was that they be told the truth regarding what had happened to me, even if it made me out to be incapable. I have been on the other end of situations like this. I would much rather know the truth than some cockamamie story. I was assured the clients would be told, with much care, what happened to me, and that I didn't 'abandon' them. Well, guess what? I ran into the daughter of one of the more precious individuals I had the opportunity to serve and learned that she was told only that 'I no longer worked for the agency.' Her daughter told me that her Mom was furious that I was no longer going to be her case manager. I can only imagine what the other clients have been told and how they are feeling about it! So, based on this, I have decided to ask for a reshuffle. On Monday, I am going to whatever it takes to get an appointment with the Director of Mental Health and present my defense. I've never wanted to be seen as 'someone who makes waves,' but this time, I think it's the right time and for the right reasons. More than ever, I believe the real reason for my dismissal was more of a personality conflict, rather than an actual issue with my job performance.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, as I go forward on this issue. Pray that I will say the right things in the right way, so that I might, once again, help others in a way I really believe I can.
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